Continuing Communication During Divorce

There is little question that divorce can be incredibly difficult for everyone involved. Of course, it only makes sense to try to make the process easier and more straightforward. Some attorneys and divorce experts even go so far as to suggest completely shutting down the lines of communication with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, saving any and all exchange of information to be handled through your respective lawyers. While this may be necessary in extreme situations, doing so simply as a general rule can actual impede your divorce more than you may realize.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt and, Often, Cooperation

Unlike most other types of legal proceedings, a divorce involves two parties who know each other as well as humanly possible—otherwise, the marriage was probably ill-advised. This familiarity can be both a help and a hindrance to reaching a reasonable resolution. Based on your experience with your spouse, you probably have an idea of what would make him or her content in your divorce agreement. On the other hand, you probably know exactly what buttons to push if you want to make him or her angry.

Your relationship also means that there are probably issues that have yet to be brought up, but that must be addressed before the divorce is finalized. For example, do you still share an auto insurance policy? If so, do you know if you were supposed to make the premium payment or if your spouse was going to send it? Shutting down all communication would prevent you from reaching any sense of normalcy in your life, with no way of knowing how long the process will last.

What About the Children?

Unless you legitimately fear for your safety or that of your children, if you and your spouse have children together, cutting off communication is not a viable option. No matter which of you has assumed primary responsibility for them during the divorce, your children do not deserve to miss out on time with both of you. You and your spouse may need to figure out school schedules, Little League games, dance recitals, and the inherent responsibilities of being a parent. If your child needs picked up right now, calling your lawyer first is probably not the best solution.

Proceed With Caution

By continuing to communicate with your spouse in the midst of your divorce, you will likely find that you are reaching compromises without even realizing it. Every conversation is an opportunity for progress, no matter how small, toward a reasonable divorce agreement. Research has also shown that when each party contributes to a divorce settlement, they are both more likely to be content with the outcome. Of course, this does not mean that every word you and your spouse exchange needs to be included in your final agreement, but a general sense of cooperation can go a long way toward making the process much easier.

If you are considering a divorce, contact an experienced Orland Park family law attorney. We can help you keep the proceedings civil, while working toward a settlement that meets your needs and those of your children. Call Kezy & Associates today at 708-518-8200 to schedule your free, confidential consultation.



Successful Co-Parenting Communication after Divorce