Before You Hit Send: The Dangers of Texting Your Spouse During Divorce

Communication is the key to resolving just about any difficult situation in life, including the differences between spouses in a divorce. In fact, if you and your spouse can communicate effectively, you can save a great deal of time, money, and stress along the way. It is important to recognize, however, that there is such a thing as communicating too much, especially in today’s world of instant online chat and text messaging. While there is always the possibility that texts that you have sent to your spouse could end up as evidence in the courtroom, such messages are more likely to have an emotional impact on the proceeding, making an already challenging situation even harder.

Missing Your Spouse?

If you and your spouse have separated and begun the divorce process, you may have trouble adjusting to being alone. It can be very tempting to send a text saying that you miss your spouse. Before you send such a message, you need to identify whether your actually miss him or her or you are just miss having somebody. The “I miss you” text or suggestions of getting back together can prevent you from ever truly moving forward with the process and your life. If you really do need to speak to your spouse about something, do so in person and avoid the electronic entanglements.

Anger and Resentment

There is no good reason to attack your spouse via text no matter how hurt and angry you may be. Avoid personal insults and character assassination. Anything you send, of course, could end eventually be shown to a judge, but, more importantly, nothing good can come from emotional outbursts. Be especially careful to stay away from such texts if you have had a drink or two. All it takes is a spark to ignite a firestorm of conflict in your divorce.

On the Other Hand…

When used properly, text messaging can be a helpful tool for couples going through divorce, especially if children are involved. A quick, friendly message to let your spouse know that you are running a few minutes late can make a world of difference in your relationship. Similarly, you and your spouse can use text messages to exchange and keep track of important dates and information.

You can protect yourself by adhering to one simple guideline. Before you hit send, reread what you have typed and decide if what you want to say will help or hurt the situation.

If you are in the midst of a divorce and have questions about setting communication limits, contact an experienced Orland Park family law attorney. Call 708-518-8200 to schedule a confidential consultation with Kezy & Associates today.