There is no getting around it: divorce has become an accepted part of our culture. From a positive perspective, divorce can provide the opportunity for individuals stuck in unhappy, unhealthy marriages to seek a better a future. Many, however, see commonplace divorce as contributing to couples’ unwillingness to work together to solve their relationship problems. Rather than putting in the necessary work, a couple can just give up and file for divorce—or so skeptics seem to believe.
In many marriages, divorce is a dirty word. Even just the thought of ending the relationship is seen as opening the door to the possibility that the marriage will fail. Talking about divorce, however, is not the same as considering filing for divorce, and if the discussion is handled correctly, it could actually help your relationship.
If We Were Divorced…
When you are fully invested in a romantic relationship, you may dedicate your entire life to making your partner happy. Along the way, you may start to lose your identity as an individual. If left unchecked, this could eventually lead to a sense of resentment and feeling trapped in the marriage. But how can you address such feelings?
One way is to sit down with your spouse and have an open conversation. For the purposes of your discussion, it is important to make every effort to avoid taking offense at each other’s feelings, but chances are, the conversation will not be an easy one. You may wish to begin by saying “If we were divorced, I would…” and continue to share what you think your life would be like if your marriage ended.
Address the Issues That Arise
The idea of this conversation is to identify areas that need to be improved. For example, many recently-divorced individuals often revel in their new-found freedom—and not just freedom to find a new romantic partner. They feel free to explore new opportunities, hobbies, and experiences. What many people do not realize is that such freedom may be possible within a marriage, if only the spouses had the courage and determination to pursue it.
In the course of your discussion, you will probably realize that you would like to steps that will not only improve your own quality of life but the health of your marriage as well. You may decide to work out more often and lose weight or to take on a greater role in the parenting of your children. Of course, the best thing that could come of your discussion is a renewed ability to communicate with one another which could pay dividends in your relationship for years to come.
The Divorce Option
If these types of conversations with your spouse lead you to believe that ending the marriage would be the best choice, speak to an experienced Orland Park divorce attorney before you make any final decisions. Call Kezy & Associates at 708-518-8200 for a free consultation with a member of our team. We will help you understand all of your available options and work with you in securing the happier future you deserve.