There is often no escaping the emotional toll divorce takes on us as we move through the process. Even under ideal circumstances, the end of a marriage brings with it multiple challenges for each party, making it a mentally exhausting experience from start to finish. While it is nearly impossible to avoid all of the potential challenges of a divorce, there is an element of control that you possess which allows you to manage your reactions and how we respond overall to the transition. Controlling what you can has the power to significantly alter your perception—and ultimately the outcome—of your divorce experience.
Work Smarter, Not Harder
For the sake of your well-being and that of your whole family, start exploring ways to work smarter, not harder, when it comes to successfully making it through your divorce. The moment you decide to call it quits, any efforts you make to reduce the conflict and tension can pay off now, and in the long run. Research from the American Psychological Association has identified certain actions and mindsets that can actually increase the emotional hardship of divorce. As the end of your marriage unfolds, it is recommended you avoid:
1. Neglecting self-care : During stressful life changes, it is especially crucial to make sure you are maintaining healthy eating habits, exercising regularly, getting adequate sleep, and reaching out for the emotional support you need. A lack of self-care will quickly erode your immune system, your ability to cope, and your overall mental and physical health, making it much more difficult to manage the changes brought on by the transition.
2. Repeatedly exposing your children to the conflict : Research suggests that exposing your children to the conflict between you and your spouse increases their risk of experiencing greater psychological and social problems. The more you involve them in the divorce upheaval, the more they will struggle to adjust to the changes happening in your family, and their struggle will inevitably become your struggle as the days and months carry on.
3. Treating the divorce like a battle : A long history of research shows that communicating and cooperating are key to promoting a peaceful, successful divorce experience. Handling the split in a defensive or aggressive manner can delay conflict resolution and may prevent it all together. Consider mediation, which is an organized, efficient way to reach a settlement. It allows you to conduct negotiations in a neutral environment under the guidance and assistance of a professional. The APA tells us that research proves mediation can generate greater emotional satisfaction and be beneficial for both spouses and children.
If you are feeling overwhelmed by the legal implications of your divorce and the emotional hurdles that come with them, you are not alone. The National Survey of Family Growth found that 20 percent of first-time marriages do not last longer than five years, and 48 percent of all marriages dissolve within 20 years—numbers that imply many have walked the same path at some point in their lifetime.
Speaking with a skilled Will County divorce attorney can help you gather the resources you need to protect your rights and create a smoother divorce journey. Call Kezy & Associates today at 708-518-8200 for your free, confidential consultation.